


Starships Were Meant to Fly

by mresundance



Series: Hannibal Flash Fics [6]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Space, Bad Sex, Crack, M/M, Outer Space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 03:00:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2452289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mresundance/pseuds/mresundance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will and Hannibal are astronauts in a space station. They attempt to have sex.</p><p>Too bad about that lack of gravity thing. </p><p>Total crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starships Were Meant to Fly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [homoette](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=homoette).



> So homoette (on Tumblr) and I were talking about sex in space and how that would actually be pretty awful. Because gravity is not a thing when you're in space. Gravity means you can actually do lots of cool sex stuff. In space it doesn't take a lot of force to send something (or someone) spinning off. And that would suck if you're trying to have sex, actually.
> 
> And then we started talking about Hannibal and Will trying to have sex in space. And that is why this fic exists. 
> 
> This is also a special reminder to be thankful to gravity for letting you have many pleasurable sexual experiences. Or yaknow, just being able to breathe and exist at all.

Space sex sucks, actually. Will thinks this as Hannibal tries to align them for what could only be the seventeen time now. Hannibal makes a noise of displeasure that sounds vaguely like a cat coughing up a fur ball, and then Will feels him -- the both of them, by virtue of Hannibal having grabbed Will's hips -- drifting forwards, right into --

"Ah _fuck_ Hannibal, _fuck_ ," Will says, as his face repeatedly collides with the starboard window.

Hannibal mumbles something that is probably not an apology, and Will feels the ass end of his suit open, the moist, overly warm air of the space station on his sensitive skin.

"Hannibal -- Jesus --" Will says as he feels Hannibal's finger, cold and lubricated with --

"Hannibal what the fuck are you putting in me?" Will manages, mostly into the starboard window still, his face smooshed against the thick pane.

"I believe it is some type of . . .  engine grease," Hannibal says.

"Great, fucking great," Will says to the window, and then Franklin's bloated face.

"This is _not_ what I had in mind when you said we should fuck in space," Will says unhappily to Franklin's bulging eyes. "Also, you can't just _throw people out of an airlock."_

"He was rude," Hannibal huffs, and Will tenses because he can feel Hannibal rubbing his dick against his greasy entrance.

"Hannibal, pushing people out of an air lock _kills them --"_

"That would be the point," Hannibal says, thrusting. They both bounce against the window, Franklin's face still floating outside, leering at them. Then they're propelled backwards, a wriggling mass of limbs, Hannibal's dick half in Will's ass. They are buffeted by the opposing wall, and Will lets out a shriek of pain as Hannibal's dick is forced deeper into him.

"Mmm, yes," Hannibal purrs, stroking Will's hair as they sail back towards the window, and Franklin's macabre visage.

"That _hurt_ you fuck," Will grits, face colliding once again with the window.

"In pain there is often pleasure," Hannibal hums, thrusting again. Will tries to brace but it ends up forcing them back into the wall -- again -- and this time Hannibal's dick impaling his ass is more pleasant. Mostly.

Again Will finds himself pressed to the window, and he and Hannibal somehow stop pinwheeling long enough for Hannibal to get half a dozen vigorous strokes in. Will's moan of pleasure is only cut off by seeing Franklin's face again through the window, mere inches from his.

"This is -- not -- what -- I -- had -- in mind --" Will gasps as Hannibal's thrusts pommel him.

"It is rather -- romantic," Hannibal hums almost appreciatively, looking over Will towards dead, drifting Franklin.

With a growl Hannibal pulls back, as if to drive himself deep into Will. Instead his momentum sends him spiraling in the opposite direction. Hannibal's dick quivers, and then sprays cum, white droplets forming and blobbing throughout the laboratory. A fair few splatter against Will's ass, and then his face when he makes the mistake of turning around.

"Ugh," Will says, wiping cum from his face.

"Did you enjoy that Will?" Hannibal murmurs, swooping in.

"No," Will says.

"I hope you will enjoy this," Hannibal tries to duck and take Will's dick in his mouth, but instead he spins inelegantly, and sends them sailing into the wall again.  

"No, no, I've had enough now, no," Will says, wriggling out of Hannibal's writhing grasp, zipping his dick up, and re-securing his assflap.

"But Will . . ." Hannibal bobs haplessly.

"NO," Will says, floating away. "THIS IS STUPID."

Meanwhile, and unbeknownst to Will, the ground control crew at Cape Canaveral watches the action in the space station unfold, soundlessly, over the cameras which Hannibal thought he had successfully turned off. After Will vacates, the ground control personnel sit in such profound silence that not even Frederick speaks for a good two minutes. Well, two minutes and fifty-six seconds.

"I told you there was repressed sexual desire between them!" he declares triumphantly to Jack.

"Pay up," Jimmy says to Brian.

"It doesn't count as sex if they both didn't finish," Brian protests and he pulls out a few twenties from his wallet and hands them to Jimmy.

"I told you not to put Will up there with Hannibal, Jack," Alana chimes in.

"Well that was weird," Beverly says. "Kinda hot though."

Jack is only swaying, slowly, from side to side, pinching the bridge of his nose, grimacing, and wishing the ceiling would come down on him, very, very soon.


End file.
